Hello everyone!

In case you didn't know I am home safely now. I successfully made it here without any illness, crashing planes, car accidents, killer insect bites... nothing! I am even feeling healthy. I am a bit tired but my jet lag or whatever you call the tiredness you get when you travel isn't so much.

I thought I would do one more post sort of wrapping up my trip, or my thoughts, or anything. I might be using this blog in the future to briefly update about my next trip (which is very very soon) so if you still want to periodically check it to see how I am doing, you should!

I am really suprised at my reaction to being home. I know on my short term trips, and specifically my Africa ones, I have really had a case of reverse culture shock. But honestly when I got home this time, I felt great. I was really anxious on the place to see my family and I was just happy to be home. It's almost as if I never left. I am still very sad that I have left Uganda and the people there but there is something different then the last times I went. This time I know I am going back someday and that I will be with my Ugandan family again. I don't know how or why or when but I know I will go.

When I went to Africa the first time when I was 14 I had this crazy dream that maybe one day I would live there. But getting older made me realize that I could do important things here at home, maybe it wouldn't happen, blah blah blah. Even the last time I went, I wasn't sure when or if I would ever come back. Even now I am amazed I went this summer. I honestly didn't think I would travel to Uganda during college and I was starting to doubt if I would go back at all, at least maybe not until I was older. But I am so glad I went and it was the perfect time in my life to go..... as God always plans things perfectly. I don't have some whimsical dream to live there one day anymore, but instead I see an open door. If God really wants me to go somewhere, now I see he WILL take me there. And he can take me there.

My biggest challenge was to have a purpose in going to Africa. I really wanted to be useful, I really wanted to be helpful. I think all Americans do when they go on trips like missions trips. I see that a lot of people have a goal and they want to accomplish it and they want to make an impact and use their resources to be helpful. Which are all great things. The problem I was running into when I got there was that I had been there before, so I saw the other side to things. I saw that when people looked at me, many times all they saw was my skin, and white skin mean money. But that wasn't why I came. Now I know I came there to learn, I came there to be open and willing to do whatever I was asked by Aloysius, or by Christ to do. I came there to serve. And I didn't want an agenda because I didn't want to be disappointed when it wasn't met, and also I didn't want to miss out on the greater things God has planned.

I really struggled for a while on this trip, but in the end it was clear that God really used me. Esther and I really bonded even if it took a little time. I think spending all that time with Joshua and accomplishing the little things around the home were a huge blessing to her. I know her and Aloysius both struggle a lot and sometimes it causes depression. I sensed it in both of them when I first came, but Esther especially I saw a change by the end. For me, that was the hugest gain of all. When I come home from college, I might not always do the best job, but I just want to be a help to my mother because I know she works so hard and I want to give her even just a little break. I wanted that for Esther too. Esther is a silent servant. She is soooo strong and so committed and she does many many things people don't see. So when she told me that my being in Koro brought peace in her heart, my soul lit up. I am so happy that God allowed me to do that because I see so much value in that blessing.

The other thing that was hard was learning. I was very very very blessed by all the many things I got to do and see and learn. I just got to have a little bit of a better understanding how the world interacts with each other, especially in ministry. I always knew this, but it became solidified in my soul what it means to depend on Christ. It was really interesting in church one day Aloysius was preaching and he said something really remarkable. In the US we really really value independence, but God requires us to be completely dependent. that is the total opposite of all that I have been taught, and what my culture aims for. We value standing on our own two feet, but really to have value and success I need to cling to the Lord with everything. I know it's kind of an obvious idea but it's not so clear when I am living my life everyday.

Another huge thing I learned was sacrifice. Esther really helped me to see what real sacrifice looks like. You put God before everything, even before your family or your children. Sacrifice them for Christ because he takes care of all those things. But I hope I can see that in everything I do. There was a girl from the Brentwood Church team who gave a very very short testimony in church but to me it was really powerful. She said, with tears in her eyes, about how she had recently lost her business and her health and was learning what it means to rely on God. That just really spoke to me because now I see... When I attach myself to my things, my family, my education, my friends, all the important things... and then they are taken from me, it becomes very painful. But if I just keep attaching myself to Christ, he will never be ripped away from me, and when those things go or die I still am fully secure. I honestly wouldn't mind living so simply, without a lot of things, maybe in a place like Uganda. Because if I was doing the Lord's work I don't feel a need for anything else. But if God blesses me with wealth and a nice place to live in the US, I just pray that I use every little thing I get as best I can, and give it all back to my Savior.

I want to thank everyone so much for all the support you gave me. I feel so thankful, I have so many people who care about me and what I am doing in my life. Honestly I was surprised when I went to church and so many people knew where I went this summer and even were looking at my blog. I know I am TERRIBLE at following blogs and all that so THANK YOU THANK YOU! I really really really appreciate it. And especially thank you to the people who financially supported me. Your gift was very well used. I pray God blesses you for your faithfulness and generosity, and I know he will.

Maybe you will hear from me again soon. I have 10-11 days left and then I go to Ecuador for my study abroad trip. I am actually really nervous. I know it will be completely different, and I know rest will be a key key thing. So if you are willing you can always continue to pray for me. I know, being human I have a lot of pride and I especially don't like to ask for prayer. But I know it is God's desire and that he is faithful when you communicate with him.

Again thank you so much. I pray that God will bless you. And may he bless Uganda; provide for the many needs that are there, and bless he faithful people who are doing his work.